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剛辦完六場「勞勃伊普斯汀影展」的特映與座談會，所有的講者都從personal的角度與自身的故事來切入。因此，我也想為這個影展寫一點personal的notes.

拍電影或發行電影，每一次都是全新的經驗與學習的過程。發行「再見了，可魯」前，我對導盲犬幾乎一無所知；發行「企鵝寶貝」前，我完全不知道企鵝爸媽是輪流孵蛋與覓食；「無法無天」讓我知道巴西里約熱內盧貧民窟的生活真相；「醉馬時刻」讓我搞清楚庫德族的困境；拍攝「賽鴿風雲」時，我才知道台灣每一隻賽鴿一生只比賽一次；「我和我的小鬼們」讓我有機會很認真地去瞭解法國公立高中的教育現況、種族文化的衝突與老師的困境。從高中開始，我從電影中學習成長，建構我的人生觀與社會觀，到今天始終沒有變過。從阿莫多瓦、「放輕鬆，隨性做」、歐容、「我的軍中情人」「盛夏光年」「巴黎小情歌」「愛滋味」，我發行過非常多的同志電影，我也製作發行過無數的紀錄片，然而，勞勃伊普斯汀的電影把我帶回一個更根本更寬闊的領域。For me, it's special and overwhelming experience.

去年，蓋斯范桑拍了「自由大道」，雖還沒獲得奧斯卡，但已引發相當多的討論。我的同仁畢業於舊金山勞勃伊普斯汀曾經任教的大學，有一天他提到「哈維米克的時代」這部紀錄片。我們很快地在網路上找到了導演公司的聯繫方式，去了封信，很自然地，導演委託的國際銷售公司（一個加拿大的公司）馬上就寄了一套四張DVD過來。在那個時間點，似乎跟一般做生意的過程沒有兩樣（大家研判「自由大道」的奧斯卡話題或許會有衍生的經濟效應；我們對一部片有興趣，但銷售者想賣更多部電影...。）我收到DVD後，也沒急著看，隔了好幾天才把「哈維米克的時代」帶回家。

那天晚上，我12點才開始看，我哭了好幾次。看完後久久不能平復，於是在深夜寫了一封信給導演。

Dear Rob,

Thank you for sending the DVD box set to us so quickly. I have watched the DVD of THE TIMES OF HARVEY MILK tonight. I have been busy with my documentary for the last few days, until now.

Before coming up with my business proposal, I just like to say, immediately after I finished watching the movie even in the middle of midnight, that I have been deeply moved. I figure I should let you know first, before anything else.

I have to speak in a personal note.

I am not a gay, not really into politics, and have mixed feeling about America, although spending 6 years studying filmmaking in New York and LA during 90s. In my country, I am not a minority, either. What moves me the most is not who Harvey Milk is, what he has done or what value he stood for. It's the sense of HISTORY that touches my heart. That sense of "history" reminds me of the IDEAL I had when I was young. It's a personal history evolved between a single human being and the society over the journey of compromise, reconstruction and shifting morality. When a documentary is so honest and true, everyone could feel related because we all have our history to come across, mostly in turmoil internally or externally, no matter you grow up in Castro Street during 70s or in a Southeastern country during 80s.

"The Times of Harvey Milk." What a great title! It's the TIMES that make me overwhelmed. The interesting and perhaps the most important thing is that I did not watch this documentary in 1978, or 1984, but 20 plus years afterward. The distance creates a true value. Unlike THE THIN BLUE LINE, it's not the dramatic plot, sophisticated technique or intriguing characters that sucks me in. It's the TIMES that knocks me on the soul.

Nothing belongs to you unless you really live through it with your true heart, which I consider is very much worth cherished.

Once again, it's my personal note, nothing to do with distribution at all.

Best,

Patrick

我不詳細翻譯了。我開宗明義地告訴他我不是同志，也不關心美國的政治，在台灣也不屬於少數族群（眷村長大的我所面臨的並不是minority這個問題）。然而，「哈維米克的時代」讓我深刻記憶起我的成長、我曾經擁抱的理想，以及台灣這二十多年來的轉變。

後來，我就引進了這四部電影, without doubt or much negotiation.

我跟同事說，發行或製作紀錄片大概不會賺錢，但可能也賠不了多少。對我而言，不要說是理想，但真的是一種自我實踐的成就與滿足。

經過這六場座談會，我更確認勞勃伊普斯汀的電影不只是關於同志，不只是要為同志爭取權利，或是為同志書寫歷史。它觸及到更廣的人權、法律、政治機器、歷史，以及更根本、更單純的人的需求的議題。從這個角度而言，它跟Naomi klein的「震撼主義」、Yes Men的「沒問題俠客修理世界」沒有二致。這些電影，一再地讓我反思人的價值與社會的公義。

人，必須要時常被喚起理想，才能走下去。勞勃伊普斯汀的電影，就是提供了我再次反思與肯定自身價值的機會。Life is wonderful after all.

我相信這個影展將成為我的電影事業中一個重要的歷程, another life-learning experience.

希望大家有機會來看這些電影。9/18起光點台北映演兩週；10/2起台中萬代福也會映演兩週。

電影介紹、片段與映演時刻表在下面！
官方部落格是 www.ffe.com.tw

Thank you very much.

Patrick 黃茂昌